Tuesday, June 12, 2007


In a rare event of a comment here at POLJ, I get very excited, read and respond to nearly all of them, even if they are stupid.

But yesterday DK struck a nerve when he left this comment:
Even though it risks sound a little, uh, JVoices, I think it's very liberated of you to refer to your girlfriend as "my partner" instead of, say, "my girlfriend," or, "my bitch."
Even though it wasn't a bad nerve, it seems however I should explain my word choice.

My partner (a woman) and I (a man) have been together for two years. We met at a Jewish summer camp and really have been together ever since. For the last eight months we have been living together (in sin). She is more than my girlfriend who I show off to my friends and whom I go out on dates with, and I am to her more than a boyfriend who protects her from scary dudes on the subway and who will hold her hand at the movies. (Though those situations do apply.) She is my partner.

We talk about nothing and everything. We buy milk (ok Lactaid) and do laundry together. I clean the kitchen and she cleans the bathroom. There is something more about the living together part of our lives that makes "us" more intense than a traditional couple relationship. I have learned to love reality home improvement shows and she tolerates hours of football during the fall.

But what I think is most important to calling my partner "my partner" is that we discussed the fact that it is more than a boyfriend-girlfriend situation. Together we came to the realization that what we have is special and all that fun and excitement. The coverage of the rings isn't in the near future, but this is more than the traditional boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. I love her, she loves me and we can laugh at each other and ourselves. (But mostly at me...I am an easy target)

This is not to say that all GLBT relationships are "more" than a traditional dating relationship or to say those who choose to define their serious boy/girlfriend as such are not as serious as us. But it is to say that we have, together, made a conscience decision to recognize the commitment of our relationship in word choice. We don't always say "partner" but it is part of our understanding.

So DK, call me anything you want. I am proud of the fact that I am in a partnership with my woman. And I am liberated. Take it for what you will.


DK said...

"For the last eight months we have been living together (in sin)."

Well, lots of people do that when the relationship is solid.

Anyway, it sounds pretty serious. Good luck! Seriously.

Annie said...

POLJ- I was recently rebuked for calling CJ my "significant other." I thought that "boyfriend" sounded juvenile, and as immature as this might be, in some settings I'd rather not out myself as straight immediately.

I stand by your right to use whatever nomenclature you choose. If you are in a partnership, then partner makes the most sense. It also (I think) can lend more legitimacy to non-heterosexual partnerships. If only LGBTQ people have parterships, it is another form of seperatization.

Liberal Jew said...

Thanks all! DK sorry to call you out like that but you aren't the first one to say that, you are only the first one with, uh, the Little Green Footballs to call it like he saw it.

Jack's Shack said...

And I am liberated.

If you have to say it then you aren't liberated.

Liberal Jew said...

Oh Jack of Shack- It was a joke.

BZ said...

If you're proud of it, then why call it "sin"?

Liberal Jew said...

BZ it is sarcasm...