Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Playing the Room

From an email from my mother, a proud life-time member of Hadassah:
Hillary at a Hadassah meeting:

"Ladies of Hadassah,

Let me start by saying how nice it is to be among mishpoche. I'm reminded of a Sunday morning a few weeks back when I was sitting with my husband, the former President, and our beautiful and talented daughter, Chelsea. (An investment banker now, by the way, with a very good company. I know I don't have to tell you what a mechiah it is, having a child like this.)

Any way, I was sitting having my usual bagel with some good novy and a schmear, and I said to my husband, "Bill-eleh. How fortunate we all are to be living in this great country of ours. I mean, sure, we've still got that momzer in the White House. Not to mention Cheney, that chazzer. Or that farshimulte meeskite running the State Department. And don't even get me started on Gonzales, that little toochis lecker! A cholyera on all of them, I say!

"But this is my point. Where but in this beautiful country of ours would you find a boy named Grossman playing quarterback in the Super Bowl? (Okay, he lost the game, but gay g'zind.)

And where but in America would I be sitting down with Mrs. Feinstein and Mrs. Boxer not to drink a glassella tea and play mah jongg, but to decide the important domestic and foreign issues of the day?

And so, ladies, today as I reach out the hand of friendship to you, my shvesters, my landsmen, I come to ask that you join me in my quest. And to assure you that behind this goyishe punim is a yiddisher kop.

I hope to meet each of you personally at the lovely dairy brunch following this event. And I hope you'll forgive me if I pass on the whitefish; it's a little salty and I'm retaining.

God bless America! We should all live and be well."

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